Hard Work

Satan works hard on all of us. He makes us feel unworthy. He makes us feel small. He makes us feel like we aren't good enough and we should just give up. And it's all lies.

To be honest, I don't feel worthy to go out and do this work. I don't feel good enough to even pray because I'm so afraid I'm not worth it. I don't feel like I'm worth it. And it's these thoughts in my head that are telling me I'm not good enough and I start to believe it. I have to believe I'm good though. Or I won't endure to the end. That in itself is part of the battle.

I talked to my friend about this. I've told him how unworthy I feel and how scared I am to leave everyone behind and face the unknown. He told me not to stress. Heavenly Father knows my struggles, that He's here for me. That He is the shoulder I can cry on and I'll never be given up on. This really helped me. For someone who feels so low, it helped. A lot. He also referred me to a talk given by Elder Brad Wilcox titled His Grace is Sufficient. 

This talk is one of the few tender mercies I needed this week. And so far so good too. It makes me realize how different my way of thinking is. To me, I need to work to repay what my Savior did for me. In reality? He's standing beside me, having already paid the price. It's like a mother paying for piano lessons. (I got this from the talk.) She wants her child to succeed. And to work hard to show appreciation for the lessons. And it's like our Savior as well. He wants us to appreciate His gift and to work hard to show our love and appreciation. He wants us to take advantage of it.

It isn't money to be paid back. It's money to save. To savor. He did it selflessly so that we might come home in the end. His grace is enough for everyone. Even me. Someone who feels so low, she doesn't think she should pray. And right now is when I need to pray the most.

His grace is good enough for all. He isn't standing at the end waiting to congratulate us. He's right next to us, guiding us when we're too tired to go on. Carrying us when our feet and legs and body have given out. Pushing us along when we want to go the opposite direction. He's here, standing beside me, holding my hand, and telling me I'm good. I'm good enough. I'm more than enough. I'm everything. And it's because of Him that I want to serve a mission. Not everyone knows what I do. And I want to share this message with them. They are good enough. They can be forgiven. They are loved. They are wanted.

And so am I.

I say this in the name of my Redeemer, Jesus Christ, amen.